To Fade Away
by Tifa-Shan
Summary: A short story. Tifa deeply cares for Cloud, but him and Aeris are in love. Her thoughts and feelings towards their relationship. Please read and review.


Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or anything related.  
  
Once again, another author's note. This is a short story about Tifa's feelings toward Aeris and Cloud, it's a bit depressing. I don't know what else to say, so just read on. Oh, and reviews are very welcome.  
  
~* To Fade Away *~  
  
We all have our places in life, even if we don't want them at times. Cloud has his and Aeris has hers, just like I have mine. It can be so hard to accept the facts sometimes...knowing things are just the way they are, but I'll always be Tifa, just like she'll always be Aeris....  
  
I've always been known as a cheerful, optimistic person....a reliable friend, trusted. But oddly enough, it's seems like it's been forever since I was really happy. The days are long past since Nibelheim, when me and Cloud were young. We liked each other, he was my hero...we never became more though. I thought about him all the time while he was gone...  
  
When I saw him back when our journey first started, it was like a miracle. He was back, and I thought maybe my dreams had come true...he'd changed, but we all have. In my heart, though, I still liked him, and I know I wasn't imagining it when he still seemed to feel the same for me...  
  
After all the hardships in my past, when I saw him, I felt I could be happy again.  
But it didn't last long, really. Aeris showed up out of the blue one day, it seems. To me, she's my best friend, and I don't feel a grudge to her..I wouldn't say that.....after all, we got along fine, she was the first person I was able to confide in and trust like that in a long time. But something happened....  
  
Cloud fell in love with her. It happened almost suddenly it seems...one day she shows up, and the next day he's so different. I remember it all so perfectly...how could I forget? It about killed me...  
When it was just us two, me and Cloud seemed to share a little something....something I really treasured. But when Aeris came, I saw it, felt it die. It was my hopes of being with Cloud, the one I really cared for... It started out slowly, I guess. We started talking less, and the tiny things, they just disappeared, dried up. I tried to hold on, but it was slipping, and I felt myself going with it. It was like I was sinking into darkness all over again.  
  
Our friendship was okay...for all three of us, thankfully. I wasn't worried about that, I knew it would be...but I couldn't help but watch the two of them and know I was fading away. To fade away...is the worst feeling I think I ever had. Aeris had so much I didn't, and I felt overshadowed by her, despite our friendship.  
  
So I could tell now, Aeris and Cloud had fallen for each other, and I was the one who lost in the triangle. I can't say I was shocked, but I felt numb...my mind was blank for so long...and when I was by myself was when it was the worst.  
It was awful. Just that simple...it was an awful feeling. The nights would go by and I'd be to myself, the others off living their lives, Aeris and Cloud probably together....and I'd be there by myself in my room at whatever inn we were at.  
  
I'd walk along the floor, it was so cold, but I couldn't feel anything anyway. Going over to a quiet corner of the room, I'd sit down and curl up, the silence like an uncomforting blanket wrapping around me. I'd take it all in...the silence...and I'd be the only one there. I didn't move, nothing did; It was so empty, not just the room, but me too.  
  
This pit within me grew with every second, and every breath I took seemed to hurt my chest. I was waiting...I knew it would come soon. The hurt, the pain, the tears, the anger to myself..  
  
And it did. Those emotions just slammed into me, so hard causing me to instantly choke into tears. Knowing that Aeris and Cloud were happily together, wishing, longing that I was as fortunate as her. Feeling so mad at myself, I felt I wasn't as good as her, she seemed perfect after all. And just the fact I lost....Cloud isn't mine, and he never will be. All the hope...it was useless. Because Cloud loves Aeris...and Aeris is Aeris...and I'm just Tifa. Just like we all have our places, mine isn't intended to be his love. I'll never have my hero...  
  
And I sobbed to myself, curling up with my arms tightly around my legs, realizing I was dwelling on this, knowing it wouldn't help. I was so sad and so numb...wishing that there was some kind of cure, but the only one is time. So my mind was let loose to blankly wonder....wonder what they were doing....wonder what I could have done....wonder how things could change. But it was pointless, just like everything else. And by now, even I felt like a lost cause.  
  
Then as expected, the tears stopped and the two were shoved to the back of my mind, but the numb feeling went on. And I would go to the others and place a smile on my face, telling them it's all okay. Then I'd resolve to keep on fighting, just like I have been.  
  
Even if I was fading away, fading away to myself with my dying emotions, fading away to the others as I tried to quit dwelling, and fading away to Cloud with all hopes of ever being wth him. But at least he's happy...  
  
I'll never forget what it was like to fade away...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sorry if that was kind of short. Anyway, please R and R, okay? Many thanks.  
  
Tifa~Shan 


End file.
